Chapter Music: The Sun Will Rise by Brendan James
A/N: Thanks to my pre-reader, miztrezboo, for all of her wonderful notes on this chapter. And to my beta, annanabanana—Jasper was thinking of you in this chapter, bb, long before you joined us.
LINK TO CHAPTER UNDER THE COMMENTS BAR
:: Bella ::
I stacked another buttermilk pancake onto the plate as I heard Charlie's feet on the stairs.
"Mornin', sweetheart," he greeted as he entered the kitchen and helped himself to coffee, briefly pausing to kiss the side of my head.
"Morning." I smiled, watching him settle into the kitchen chair by the window. "I made pancakes, are you hungry?"
"For your pancakes? Always." He grinned, and I set the stack on the table along with fresh juice and a bowl of fruit salad. We sat in silence, eating and drinking until our plates were finally empty.
"So when do you have to be at work?" Charlie asked, disrupting the stillness in the kitchen.
"Eleven. Emmett needs me there after breakfast to get ready for the lunch crowd. Will you be okay by yourself?" I asked, standing to clear the plates.
"I'm sure I'll manage, Bella. I'm a big boy, been on my own for a while now." His tone was playful, but his words fell heavy in the air. I had left him, and he'd had no choice but to get on with things by himself. The plates slipped from my hands and crashed into the sink, braking against the glasses in the process.
"Bella, I didn't mean—"
"It's okay, I know." I stopped him, before he finished speaking. I was trying for Charlie's sake, but I knew that I couldn't deal with him tip-toeing around me. I would carry my guilt, and it would be a reminder of how I had come to be here now and why I had left in the first place. I didn't want the easy way out. I needed to repair the damage I had caused, but it would take time, and I needed to heal myself first. The only flaw in that logic was, I didn't know how to begin the process, or how long it would take.
"I'm glad you're home, Bella." Charlie stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders while I cleaned out the sink, removing the broken plates and glass. "I don't know what Jacob was thinkin', sweetheart, but don't let him win. You need to pick yourself up and start over. Yesterday was a great step forward; workin' for Emmett will get you out with the townsfolk, but don't close yourself off to new possibilities, Bella. You're too important to me." He squeezed my shoulders once before letting go.
"I'm trying, it's not easy. But I'll get there," I tried to assure him.
"I see that. You know you can talk to me about anything that's on your mind, right?" Charlie moved to lean against the counter next to me and I saw him, staring at me, out of the corner of my eye. I nodded to show I had heard him and offered a weak, watery smile. "Okay then." He kissed the side of my head once more and pushed off the counter. "I'm heading down to the boat. The keys to the truck are on the hook if you need them. Try and enjoy your day, sweetheart."
"Thanks, daddy," I murmured, as Charlie left the kitchen and the front door closed behind him.
~oOo~
"Two cheeseburgers and fries with a side of onion rings for table three, and three strawberry sundaes for the girls at number seven," I called through the divide into the kitchen as I clipped the orders to the board.
"Table two is up," Emmett called back, sliding two steaks and a salad through the hatch. I balanced my tray nervously and made my way to the table.
"One medium-rare and one well-done?" The couple smiled and indicated their respective orders as I placed them down on the table. They both declined further drinks, and I left them to enjoy their lunch.
"So, how's your first day treating you?" Maggie asked when I got back to the counter.
"Good—busy—I have no idea what I'm doing." I laughed awkwardly, dropping my tray as I tried to stack it with the others.
"You'll get the hang of it, and Emmett's a patient guy." Maggie smiled reassuringly.
Ten minutes later, the orders for tables three and seven were called. Maggie and I retrieved them from the hatch, and took them out into the diner.
It was barely noon and I hadn't stopped since I'd arrived at McCarty's. I liked being busy, though; it meant I had little time to let my mind wander. I wiped tables, restocked napkin dispensers, and took order after order. Maggie and I worked together to clear the tables and booths, always keeping the counter clear for the regular customers. Just as I was filling the last of the salt and pepper shakers, the door chimed and Maggie called out across the diner.
"Hey, Rose. Good mornin'? How're the kids?" Maggie smiled as she leaned forward, her elbows resting on the counter. I followed her eyes and saw a tall blonde woman with soft features walking toward us both. Her floral print dress swung about her knees as she moved and her cardigan was fitted at the waist but was still modest. It took me a moment, but I finally recognized her as Rosalie Hale—head of the student body counsel and voted 'most likely to become a mom.'
Rose laughed. "You know what first graders are like."
"I know what the Burton kids are like," Maggie countered with a shudder, and I tried to place the familiar name she had mentioned.
"Them too." Rose laughed again, and as she did, her eyes met mine momentarily before flitting back to Maggie. It wasn't that Rose was cold; it was just that we'd never had the opportunity to become more than acquaintances. She was always Alice's brother's girlfriend, and nothing more. She was older than us both and kept to her own group of friends.
"You remember Bella, right?" Maggie introduced.
"Of course." Rose smiled and turned back to me again. "Emmett mentioned that you would be working here, Bella. It's nice to see you home. Alice has missed you. So has Charlie." My chest constricted. Rose was practically a stranger and yet she still had the power to make me feel guilty about events that were no longer in my control. I wondered how many more people from my past would have the same effect—widening the chasm in my chest further before I had the chance to right my wrongs and heal completely.
"Thanks, I missed them, too," I mumbled, by way of reply. Perhaps realizing my discomfort, Rose shifted the conversation, but it was too late—I already felt the tears welling up in my eyes and turned to wipe them discreetly.
"Is Emmett in the kitchen?"
"He is. Cookin' up a storm as always." I could hear the smile in Maggie's voice, and I longed for its warmth to reach me behind the counter. It didn't.
"I'll just slip back and say hi." Light footfalls indicated Rose's movements toward the kitchen. Before she made it behind the counter, the kitchen door swung open and Emmett's voice rang around the diner.
"Hey, baby. How's work?"
"I didn't come to talk about work, Em. Give me some love." A short squeal burst out behind me and I lifted my head, surprised by the noise. I had forgotten that the back wall of the diner was completely covered in mirrors, and I watched Emmett wrap his arms around his wife, lifting her easily and kissing her soundly before placing her back on the ground. The moment was so sweet, that this time the tears escaped, rolling down my cheeks.
Emmett caught my eyes in the mirror and bent forward, whispering something to Rose, before moving to stand behind me. I dropped my eyes and began fiddling with my apron, determined not to let him see me upset.
"Hey, Baby Bell. How're things goin' so far?" His voice was soft and low, keeping the conversation between the two of us. I nodded my head and swallowed hard, trying to regain my composure before I spoke.
"Good. Maggie's been great," I croaked.
"Glad to hear it." He patted my shoulder a little awkwardly. I lifted my face upward, slowly, willing my eyes to dry as the air conditioning unit powered on overhead. "Think you can handle a delivery?"
"Are you sure you want me to take it?" I garbled, somewhat panicked.
"Well, it's you or Maggie. Would you rather run things here while she's out?" His tone was playful, and I realized then that the delivery was more about me than it was anything else. One of the kitchen staff could have easily taken it. Emmett was giving me the chance to escape if I wanted it. I wasn't ready for this. I appreciated the job and his help, but I needed to get out for a while.
"Where am I going?"
"The bar on the corner of Bickenbach and Austin." Emmett walked to the kitchen and returned with a large paper bag, stamped with McCarty's Diner, on the side. Untying my apron, I stowed it under the counter and took the bag from him with a grateful smile. I offered a small wave to both Maggie and Rose and began to head for the door.
"Oh, and Bella?" Emmett called out after me. "Take your time. No need to rush back, okay?" He threw me a final wink and I slipped out of the diner, heading for the comfort and isolation of Charlie's truck.
~oOo~
Five minutes later, I pulled up outside the bar in question.
"You have got to be kidding me," I groaned, staring up at the sign on top of the large wooden building. There, painted in Southern Red, between two giant carved boots, was the name—Whitlock's. I fell forward against the steering wheel, resting my forehead on the top of the leather, breathing heavily through my mouth. Could today get any worse?
Grabbing the lunch order, I heaved myself out of Charlie's truck and slammed the door behind me, stalking toward the bar with determined steps. The main door to the bar was unlocked and swung open to reveal a large open area that I assumed was used for dancing. Tables and chairs were set out around the edge of the space, and booths lined the back wall alongside four pool tables while almost two dozen stools ran the full length of the polished wooden bar.
The lights throughout were dimmed, with only the lights over the bar shining brightly, illuminating the large stock of liquor on the shelves that lined the wall. For a moment, I considered the possibility that a drink might be nice, maybe dull some of the ache, but I dismissed the thought just as quickly.
"Hello?" I called out, walking over to the bar and perching on one of the stools. When there was no immediate answer, I sat for a few minutes, wondering if I should just leave the order on the counter and go. It wasn't like Emmett didn't know where to send the check. It was then that a scuffling noise from the door marked 'cellar' caught my attention. I turned toward it and tried again, hoping that it wouldn't be Jasper, but one of his staff instead.
"Hello? It's Bella from McCarty's with your order."
"Bella? Baby Bell?" The unmistakable sound of Jasper's voice carried up from the cellar, quickly followed by the pounding of his feet on the stairs. No such luck.
When he walked through the door, I sucked in a quick breath through my slightly parted lips. Jasper Whitlock had changed. He was no longer the lanky boy I remembered. The man that stood behind the bar was broad and muscular. His build wasn't as large as Emmett's, but Jasper's arms were toned and his shirt pulled tight across his defined chest and stomach.
"Baby Bell, you're starin'," Jasper joked. My eyes snapped up to his in an instant, and the deep blue I found there danced with laughter, at my expense. His sandy blond hair was disheveled and longer than he used to wear it, and his jaw was no longer clean shaven.
"Sorry," I finally managed to blurt, and I thrust the food bag toward him. Jasper reached for two glasses and put them between us on the bar top.
"Can I get you a drink? It's on the house." His smile was warm and inviting as he tossed some ice in the low ball glasses. I wavered momentarily, unsure of how to answer. Emmett may have told me to take my time, but he was still expecting me back—sober.
"Come on, name your poison," Jasper coaxed. "I'll make it a small one."
I sighed reluctantly, peer pressure getting the best of me at twenty-five years old. "Whatever you're having is fine."
"Thatta girl, Swan!" he all but cheered, reaching for a bottle of Jack. "Or is it Black?" he quizzed, raising a curious eyebrow in my direction.
I groaned, dropped my head onto the bar. I hadn't had anything stronger than champagne since college. "No, it's Swan," I affirmed.
"Here, I'll mix it with a little something since it's still lunch time." I heard him mix it with something before sliding it over the bar, leaving it next to me. He rustled the bag and, lifting my head, I saw Jasper produce two cheeseburgers and an extra large portion of fries.
"You expecting company?" I asked, getting ready to leave if he was busy.
"Nah, but I was hopin' that you'd stay and join me." He loaded the food, and our drinks, onto one of the trays and started to head to one of the booths under the dim lights. "You comin'?"
"Sure, sure," I grumbled, climbing down off the stool and following him to our new location. I slid in opposite Jasper just as he started eating his burger.
"Even cold, Emmett knows how to grill good beef," he said, speaking with his mouthful. I smiled for the first time since I'd arrived. Just like Alice in her store, Jasper looked comfortable and at home in his bar. Jasper swallowed and washed down his burger with a sip from his glass. "So, you wanna talk about it?"
"Talk about what?" I hedged, hoping to avoid another conversation about Jacob. He and Alice lived together; surely she had filled him in on the finer points of my situation. A more curious question, of course, would be—why did he care?
"Nice try, Baby Bell."
I rolled my eyes. Clearly the nickname the three of them had given me in high school had stuck and wasn't going anywhere soon. "What do you want to know?"
"Why don't you start with why you're home?"
I lifted my glass to my mouth and took a deep breath, hesitating for a second before I allowed the amber liquid to flow past my lips and coat my tongue.
"Sweet Jesus, what've you put in there?" I ground out, my mouth puckering, overloaded by the taste sensations: over sweet with a bitter burning aftertaste.
"Sweet tea, actually. It seemed like a fittin' afternoon drink," he replied with mock coyness. "Don't change the subject."
"You must have talked to Alice, I'm not going over everything again," I said shortly, taking another mouthful, but better bracing myself this time.
"Fair enough, just the basics then."
"Jacob asked for a divorce—while he thought I was sleeping—I waited to see if that was what he wanted, and when he didn't give any indication of wanting to stay married, I went to a lawyer. The papers arrived, and I left." I polished off my drink and placed the glass back down on the table, the thick bottom hitting harder against the wood than I expected.
"Another?" Jasper asked, gesturing to the glass. I shrugged my response and he moved to get me a refill. The second glass was taller but the same color, and upon tasting it, seemed weaker than the first.
"Thanks."
"Alice mentioned late night meetin's and business trips." It was a statement, not a question, and I nodded my agreement. "Was he seein' someone else?" Jasper's question threw me. I hadn't considered the possibility of Jacob cheating on me, not really. He wouldn't, would he? I had given up everything…
"Bella?"
"I don't…He wouldn't…I'm not…" I couldn't engage my brain long enough to finish my sentence, so instead took a long drink of Jack and tea.
"Okay, slow down there, slugger." Jasper reached over and pulled my glass away from my mouth. "I was just thinkin' out loud."
"Something must have made you think about it." I could feel my stomach rolling, and I wondered if it was the alcohol or the thought of my husband sleeping with another woman.
"Edward and I—"
"Edward? So you've both been laughing and joking behind my back?" I slid across the bench and made to get up, but Jasper moved and his arm shot out, blocking my exit.
"For the last two years, I've listened to Alice talk about how much she's missed you, not sure if she should keep callin' after you stopped returnin' her calls." Jasper looked at me pointedly, but without judgment, and I tried in vain to swallow the awkward lump in my throat. I couldn't expect any of them to understand—or forgive me—but it had just been too hard to talk to anyone at home when I was so far away from it.
"I've listened to Charlie talk about how much he wished Jacob could have built his business here, instead of takin' you away," he continued. "When Edward told me you'd come home, I was happy for Alice. I was happy for Charlie. But their happiness comes at a cost, Bella, and I know that cost is yours. I'm just tryin' to help. No one is laughin' at you—behind your back, or otherwise. You have friends here, friends that care about how you're doin'. None of us want to see you hurtin'." Jasper relaxed his arm when I settled back into my side of the booth and began to take small sips from my glass.
We sat in silence while Jasper finished his burger and I picked at some fries. He refilled our glasses twice and retrieved a hidden packet of M&Ms from behind the bar, citing them as Alice's emergency stash. Jasper separated the blue ones—because food shouldn't be unnaturally blue—and I paired the rest into matching colors.
"You know, during high school, I knew all the other girls liked Jacob. But one of the things I liked the most about him was that he didn't seem to notice." I paused, popping two of the orange shelled candies into my mouth.
"Oh, he noticed, trust me," Jasper said with a hint of remorse in his voice. I felt my bottom lip quiver and sucked it into my mouth, trying to steady my shaky breaths at the same time. It was useless, my eyes pooled and the tears trickled down my checks before I could stop them.
"Explain yourself, please." My voice was barely a whisper.
"I shouldn't." Jasper shook his head. "None of us want to see you hurtin', remember?"
"Don't you think I'm already hurting? What kind of man has sex with his wife and then, less than an hour later, tells her he can't be with her anymore? What kind of man waits until she's sleeping and then tells her it's over? What kind of man…" My voice broke and violent sobs tore through my chest. Faster than I would have thought possible, Jasper was sitting next to me, pulling me tightly into his side. His strong arms wrapped firmly around my shoulders while he whispered words of comfort into my hair.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean—"
"Why, Jasper? Why does it hurt so much?" I hiccoughed, gasping for breath through my tears.
"It hurts now, but it will get better. We'll get you through this, Bella. You'll be stronger and wiser; you'll love harder and with more passion. I know it's hard to see now, but you're loved, and you're beautiful, don't let Jacob take that from you." Jasper kissed my temple, and I lowered my head to rest my cheek on his thigh. I was suddenly so tired. My body felt drained, and my head hurt, my fingers and lips tingled from drinking the Jack, and my eyes felt puffy and red. I needed to sleep. I wanted to forget.
"You can sleep, but you won't forget—though time will make it all easier, Baby Bell. I promise."
I didn't realize I had spoken aloud until Jasper's soft voice washed over me, but as he slouched on the bench, stroking my hair, I knew he was right about one thing. I wouldn't forget, not yet anyway.
A/N: Thanks for reading.
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