Chapter Music: What If by SafetySuit
A/N: Thanks to miztrezboo who reassured me throughout this chapter and to annanabanana who beta'd double time when I overloaded her box.
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:: Jacob ::
As she writhed underneath me, her body arching and her head twisting, her hair fanned out over my desk.
"Harder, fuck me harder," she begged.
"I need you to be quiet, babe," I grunted, thrusting my hips harder, listening to our skin slapping against each other.
I couldn't concentrate. Flashes of rich brown eyes swam in front of my vision and I lost my rhythm.
"Don't stop, I was so close."
"I can't…"
"Fuck, Jake. Get your head in the game!" Tanya snapped, propping herself up on her elbows. "Your wife's not here now, so fuck me."
A game, that's exactly what this was to her, just a way to fuck with my head and my business. Angry at the situation I had managed to get myself into, I stepped back, withdrawing from the poisonous woman in front of me.
"What the hell, Jacob?"
"Shut the fuck up!" I spat, gripping her hips and flipping her over aggressively.
"God, yes. Be rough with me, you know that's how I like it," she cooed.
I smacked her hard across her right ass cheek and she squirmed against the top of my desk. This had been a mistake from the start, but there was no going back now.
Without warning, I thrust forward, letting her feel every inch of me.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she whimpered, pressing her forehead against the cool wood. She was right, of course, I knew exactly what she liked. She'd spent three months telling me—provoking me—until finally, two months ago I had been weak. She had dropped to her knees right in front of me and I couldn't do a thing to stop her. I didn't want to. I should have known it would come at a price.
"Please, Jake, I need it so bad. I'm close, I…" Tanya threw her head back, her hair flowing over her smooth creamy skin. My hand found its place at the back of her neck and I fisted her hair, pulling it sharply. "I need more, stop teasing me," she gasped. She was slick with the moisture running from her pussy and I spread it over her before sliding my thumb into her ass.
Tanya released a keening mewl as I felt her come on my cock, and I came hard, feeling her squeeze me as her orgasm waned and I tugged her hair a final time.
Pulling my body from hers in disgust, I turned, reaching for my pants as they lay pooled around my ankles. Tanya lay sprawled on the desk, her ass still in the air, panting and gasping for breath.
"I've never come harder than when you're fucking me, Jakey," she said after a moment as she pushed herself up with shaky arms. God, she had a dirty mouth. For a moment I missed Bella's sweetness, her tender touch and her trusting eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut, dispelling the thoughts of my wife, knowing that I shouldn't be tainting her image with my actions.
"Get dressed, Tanya," I deadpanned. "I need to get home."
"When are you telling her, Jake?" she asked as she pushed her skirt back down over her hips.
"When I'm good and ready. Don't rush me."
"She's going to need to find out sooner or later. Putting it off is just cruel, not to mention pointless. You know what's at stake," she reminded me, harshly tugging on her blouse and fastening the buttons. "It'll only take one word to my father and you'll lose half of your investors."
"Damn it, Tanya. Don't you think I know?" I raged, spinning to face her.
"Don't act like you're hard done by, Jacob. You knew what you were doing when you signed the paperwork."
When Mr. Randell had walked into my office six months ago, Black Construction was still relatively small. He had just purchased a large house on the edge of town and needed some remodeling done. The Randells were from old money back in Louisiana, so no expense was to be spared. He was so pleased with the work when we finished, that he had offered to invest in the company and expand its business capabilities. He only had one condition.
Tanya was his only child. He had left her mother back in Louisiana, swallowing pills and bourbon, and he had no idea how to stop his daughter following in her mother's footsteps.
"Take her out for me, Jacob. Show her some of the sights in this town. Help her find some friends and a good man."
"You know that I'm married, right, sir?"
"I know that, son," Mr. Randell laughed. "I'm not askin' you to date her yourself."
So I had accepted his proposal. I'd invited Tanya to my house, and Bella had cooked and made friendly small talk. I had taken Tanya out for dinner and drinks after business meetings with her father, and I had even chosen her over my wife when it came time to go to the Christmas party, leaving Bella at home sick with the flu. That was the first night she'd tried to kiss me; I had only just managed to refuse her advances. But further and further, I had dug a hole for myself, and each time I'd gotten deeper and deeper as Tanya flirted endlessly, wearing one revealing dress after the next.
It had been a Friday night and she'd talked me into taking her to a fancy socialite mixer at her father's country club. Halfway through dinner she had slipped her panties into my pocket, and I'd known then that my avoidance was over. She had played dirty and I couldn't deny that there was something alluring about her. If Bella was sweetness, then Tanya was the epitome of spice. Dark smoky eyes, a dress cut down to the dimples on her lower back, and her soft blonde curls pinned up off her neck. She had accosted me in the men's room before dessert. With my hard cock down her throat, she had encouraged me to fuck her mouth—something I would never be able to do to Bella. After that there had been no going back.
"I didn't know it would lead to this," I scoffed, gesturing to the office around me. "Daddy's angel. If only he knew what a sexual deviant his daughter really was."
Tanya laughed. It might have sounded beautiful, if it hadn't been at my expense. "He'd never believe you. Besides, when I tell him he's going to be a grandfather he won't even care."
"Going to be a what?" I asked in an unsteady voice as the blood in my veins chilled uncomfortably.
"I'm pregnant. And before you ask, It's yours," she said flatly.
"How? I…but you…" My mind was reeling. I had seen her birth control pills.
But you've never seen her take them.
"Don't be naïve, Jacob. After what just happened, I hardly need to explain the 'how'," she said sarcastically. "You have no choice now. You need to leave Isabella, or I'll take your child and your business before you can even blink."
Her voice was cold, and cut me with more violence and intent than the blade of a knife. She would destroy me without a second thought, and I had no one to blame but myself.
"It's your business and child, or your wife, Jacob. You choose. Either way, daddy will know by the end of the week." When she finished talking, she smiled sweetly at me, lifted her purse and disappeared out of my office.
~oOo~
"Jacob, is that you?"
"Yeah, sorry I'm late."
"Another late meeting?" Bella asked, as she stepped out of the kitchen.
"Yes," I lied, setting my briefcase down in the foyer.
"You work too hard, Jacob," she said softly.
"It'll stop soon, Bella. I promise." I squeezed my eyes shut, hating what I was going to have to do to her. One way or the other, I was going to crush her. If I lost my business, we had moved and started from scratch for nothing. If I told her about Tanya and the baby, she would be heartbroken.
"I miss you, that's all. It was nice to be close to you this morning," she said shyly, and as I closed my eyes, the image of her beneath me, in our bed, seared the insides of my eyelids. Her soft sighs and gentle moans rang through my ears, and for a moment, I could almost feel her fingers trailing down my back.
I forced a smile as the vision of my thumb in Tanya's ass intruded on the memory. "I need a shower. I won't be long."
"Of course. I'll have dinner ready in the dining room in ten minutes." She ducked her head and retreated to the kitchen.
True to her word, dinner was on the table when I returned from our bedroom. Steamed salmon, asparagus and wild rice, served with a crisp dry white wine. I drank greedily, still undecided on the direction the evening would take, and we sat in silence. Bella cleared the table once we had finished eating, and I drained the last of the wine from my glass.
"Will you be up soon?" I asked, moving toward the stairs. I needed a few minutes to myself.
"I'll just be five minutes."
I sat by the window in my small home office, staring out over the moonlit dessert behind our house. My mind was blank. Despite needing time to collect my thoughts, everything was void. I heard Bella shuffling in our bedroom, running water and then silence. I walked across the hall and saw her standing in front of our bed.
She looked exquisite, in a satin slip, her smooth legs on display. While she moisturized her skin, I quietly shed my pants and undershirt.
As I approached, Bella's head tilted. She had heard me.
"Jake? What are you doing?" her voice quivered in anticipation as my hands caressed her arms. Needing to touch more of her, I pressed my body against her back.
"Shhh," I whispered. I ran my fingertips down her arms until I reached her thighs, pressing them into her skin. I needed to feel her, needed it to be real. She gasped as I pulled her slip over her head, leaving her exposed in nothing but a white thong. Her perfect ass was pressed against my hard-on and I suppressed a moan. "Bella, please I just need to try and—" I stopped, unable to help myself from tasting her. I scraped my teeth over the skin on her shoulder and ground myself into her. I wanted to consume her, wanted to feel her everywhere.
I cupped her breasts in my hands, squeezing them roughly. My breath became ragged as I felt her nipples harden against my palms, and I knew I couldn't be soft or slow like I had been this morning.
"I don't think I can be gentle, Bella," I warned, my voice thick with arousal. I ran one hand down over her stomach and dipped it inside her panties. I wanted nothing more than to rip them from her body, and I desperately fought the urge, reminding myself that this was Bella and she would break easily. My finger circled her clit, increasing the pressure there, as my cock throbbed with the need to be deep inside her.
Bella's back stiffened, and I barely heard her speak over my own breathing. "Jake, you're scaring me."
I didn't want her to be afraid, but fuck, I needed to burn her onto every inch of my skin. I needed to cleanse my body of the mistakes I had made. As I thought about withdrawing my hand, Bella's back arched against my chest and she spread her legs wider for me. She was always so compliant, so eager to please me, but I couldn't fuck her like I had Tanya. My mind couldn't reconcile treating Bella that way.
"This morning you were so…sweet to me," she whispered.
"Fuck," I moaned softly into her hair. "I'm not going to force you, Bella." But despite my comment, my fingers moved against her, simultaneously teasing her lips, and pulling at her nipple. God, she felt good. My middle finger slid easily inside her, and she pressed back into me. "God, you're always so wet for me, so ready." I flicked my thumb over her clit, and I knew she was mine. She always gave into me. It was how we were here now.
Bella wound her arms up around my neck, anchoring herself against my body, and I felt every fucking inch of her pressed into me.
"Take me," she breathed across my jaw before flicking her tongue across my skin, and I felt my cock twitch against her ass. I couldn't take her teasing. Fuck! What I wouldn't give to bend her over and fuck her like I never had, just to erase the memory of Tanya spread across my desk.
"Are you sure?" I forced the words from my mouth, terrified she would take it back.
"However you want me, Jacob. I'm always yours," she moaned, and my fingers increased their pace.
"Fuck," I hissed, pinching her nipple hard enough for her to let out a desperate whimper. I was on sensory overload. I could smell her arousal, could feel it coating her upper thighs. Bella's scent was everywhere, I was swimming in her, and for a moment I wondered if she really meant what she had said.
I pulled my hand from her panties and dragged a wet finger over her bottom lip. I didn't deserve to taste her sweetness. "Open your mouth, Bella," I demanded and she complied immediately. I pushed it between her lips and felt her tongue slide around my fingertip. "Suck it," I begged. Her tongue continued to swirl around my finger as she licked it clean, and like a man possessed, I bit down on the back of her neck.
"I can't wait, I need you now," I grunted. Keeping her body close to mine, I pulled my finger from her mouth and walked us over to the bed. As gently as I could, I pushed against her back, causing her to drop down onto the mattress. I pressed my leg between hers, pushing them wider and exposing her. "Put your arms above your head, Bella." She did as I instructed—no questions asked. Tanya was always so insistent in answering back. I didn't like it.
I quickly pulled down her panties, angering the skin on her thighs with the lace. "Step out, Bella, and stay on the bed." This was taking too long. I needed to be in her now.
I let my hands roam over her ass, perfectly round and smooth, and spread her wide. Tanya liked it in the ass, and I wondered if Bella would enjoy it as much. We had never engaged in anal sex, she was always so timid. I almost knew in my head that she would take it if I asked her, but she was a sweet girl from a small town. I could never expect her to want to partake in that sort of activity.
Frustrated that my marriage and options were limited, I thrust two fingers deep inside Bella's pussy and she gasped and moaned. In two years of marriage, I had never taken her like this. Every movement would be unexpected; she'd be unable to read my face or eyes. Some warning would be fair.
"It's going to be hard and fast, Bella." The statement rumbled from my chest and she purred from her position, vulnerable in front of me. I was done teasing, and I was done with the questions. She was ready; I'd never felt her as wet. Without further warning, my fingers left her empty for a second before I plunged into her.
There was no doubt, I was fucking her. This wasn't loving her. But I was so in love with her that my chest hurt.
Bella's tiny body moved under mine without resistance, just following the push and pull as my hands gripped her hips. "It's not…I can't…fuck!" I gasped, my rhythm increasing, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I spilled into her. Unlike Tanya, I knew Bella was still taking her birth control despite her needy conversations about stopping it.
"You need to come, Bella. I'm close."
Her hand snaked under her body, and I felt her fingers brush against me as I plowed forward, one relentless thrust after another. Bella's breathing picked up, and I knew she was close too.
"Fuck, Bella. Now," I commanded, and as I emptied into her, I felt her body quiver.
Remorse washed over me as I came down from my high. What the fuck had I done? Less than two hours ago my dick was buried in another woman. Any hopes of washing my sins away with Bella, were nothing more than pipe dreams.
"I'm going to take a shower." I hardly recognized my voice as I spoke, and I cringed as I left Bella naked and exposed on the bed. I didn't remember stepping under the hot spray. I only knew it was time to get out when the water began to chill my skin. I ran a towel over my chest and arms, haunted by Tanya's words.
It's your business and child, or your wife, Jacob. You choose.
I knew what I had to do. I guess I had always known. It had to be my business. I had no other choice. Bella would eventually forgive me—even if she didn't take me back—but my company? I had spent too long building it from the ground up—it was my dream, all I had ever wanted. If I lost my clients, I had no guarantee of being able to start over again anywhere else. My reputation would be ruined, and in turn, my marriage would be affected irrevocably. Either way, Tanya won, and I lost.
Our bedroom was dark as I closed the bathroom door behind me, and I wondered if Bella was asleep yet. If I was going to confess, the cover of darkness would make it easier.
"Bella?" I whispered, as I sat on the bed. "Are you awake?"
I sighed when I was met with silence, and sank back against my pillows. I considered lying. Continuing my lies at home and telling Tanya that Bella knew everything. But it was no use. I had come to know how Tanya worked, and she would come to Bella herself.
"God, I can't do this anymore." Another sigh escaped my lips, as I looked over at Bella's still form.
I waited for a moment, checking to see if Bella had stirred at the sound of my voice, but there was nothing.
"I'm not happy anymore. I'm not sure I… fuck," I murmured. "Jesus, I… this is so Goddamn complicated." I blew out the breath I was holding.
"I can't… I just…" I reached for her, allowing my hand to ghost over her skin. A confession was still a confession. I tested the words in my head—I want a divorce—wondering if hearing them aloud would provide the cleansing I so desperately coveted. With one final deep breath, I closed my eyes, leaning over to whisper the words of destruction against Bella's ear.
"I want a divorce, Bella." There, I had said it. I knew it didn't count. It wouldn't until she was looking me in the eyes and heard the words herself. I lay back on my side of the bed, rubbing my face with my hands. "God, I wish you were still awake." I rolled over and watched the stars winking and mocking me from the window, knowing full well that I would have to face Tanya and her father come the end of the week.
A/N: So there you have it. I hope this answered some of your questions. Does it make things right? No of course not. Was Jacob in a bit of a tough spot? Yes, but only of his own doing. He made his bed and now he's going to have to lie in it.
Thank you for reading.
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