Chapter Music: Dare You to Move by Switchfoot
A/N: Thanks to miztrezboo and annanbanana who both loved Emmett. I couldn't, and wouldn't, update without them.
LINK TO CHAPTER UNDER THE COMMENTS BAR
:: Emmett ::
"I'm sorry, Maggie. I don't know how I got the orders mixed up," Rosie said, and I could tell she was stressing about making a mistake. We'd been short handed since Bella had been off, and while Rosie had been helping out when she could, I wasn't about to replace Bella. I knew she'd be back when she was ready, and I was going to make sure her job would be here waiting for her.
"It's okay, Rose. No harm done. Mrs. McKenna will still get her fries and ice cream—totally gross, by the way—and Brady's steak and eggs is already cooking, right, Em?" Maggie called through the window into the kitchen.
"Sure is, Maggie." I turned to Rosie and flashed her a grateful smile. "You're doing great, baby. Do you know how much I love you?"
"Yes, but you can tell me again." She leaned through the divide and kissed me sweetly.
"I love you, always," I murmured against her lips just as the bell chimed over the door. Edward's hand was thrust in his hair and his other was stuck in his pocket as he walked to the counter.
"This should be good," Rosie whispered as she saw him out of the corner of her eye.
"Yeah," I sighed. "Hold down the fort, Maggie?"
"You know I will, Em," she assured me. I kissed Rosie again and headed out of the kitchen toward the counter, where Edward had settled. I pulled one of the bottles of home brewed lemonade out of the fridge and grabbed a couple of glasses before making my way around the counter and sitting down next to him.
As the cloudy liquid filled each glass, I was reminded of days gone by when Ally and I would stand in Grams' kitchen, watching her make a batch for the diner. It was a tradition passed down from one generation to the next, and I couldn't help but think of my childhood whenever I sat down to a glass.
I fingered the quarters stuck on the counter, waiting for Edward to speak first. He'd talk when he was ready, no sense in rushing him.
The easy hustle of the diner continued around us for over twenty minutes. Rosie laughed with our regulars, while Maggie took orders and cleared tables with Riley. I wanted to ask how Bella was doing, knowing that's where Edward had come from, but I knew better than to try and force small talk.
I poured second glasses for us both when we'd drained our lemonade, and I reached over to the cobbler on the counter, lifting off the glass lid and cutting off a slice to slide in front of Edward. Cutting myself a slice of Ally's pie, we both ate in silence, watching each other in the mirror behind the counter.
"Thanks, Maggie," I muttered, when she walked by to clear our empty plates, not stopping or interrupting the quiet lingering between Edward and me.
"She's not gettin' any better." Edward sighed, taking a mouthful out of his glass.
"Thought she'd been outside?" Sure it had only been the balcony, but it'd been a start.
"That was almost a week ago." Edward shook his head. "Charlie says she's back to stayin' in bed again, and if it weren't for Alice goin' over to get her showered each day…" He dropped his head into his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots.
"So what're we gonna do? We can't just leave her. Charlie said he'd have to get the doc involved if she didn't snap out of it."
"Yeah, and we know that Doc Garrett means well, but we can't let that happen, Em. We need Bella back as Bella, not as some medicated version of herself." Edward's voice was strained as he pressed his palms flat on the surface of the counter.
"You're closest to the Chief," I said. I meant nothing by it, it was just the truth. I knew Charlie had always been there when Edward had needed any extra help with his grandpa. "Maybe you could—"
"It has to be you, Em. It can't be me," he reasoned, shaking his head. "I can't be that guy." Edward dragged his hand through his hair again, fisting his other on the counter. "I can't be her rebound."
He stared at me, his eyes full of anguish. It was the same look Ally'd had on her face when she'd told me that she'd moved in with Jasper.
Fear. Pain. Desperation.
"You want more than that, don't you?" I realized, finally understanding what Rosie had been saying since we'd left Whitlock's the night I'd tossed Burton on his ass.
"I don't know what I want." His eyes shifted and I rolled mine. "But I know I can't have whatever it is if I'm her hero. I'd never know if it was because she felt something, or if she just felt…I don't know," he finished, defeated.
I'd never seen him so confused. Edward was a straight up kinda guy—what you saw, was what you got. He'd lay down for a friend, he'd stop to help a stranger, and he'd never lie or cheat. If Edward felt that he couldn't be the one to help Bella now, then he had a damn good reason for it, and I wasn't about to question him or demand an explanation.
"Hey, it's fine, Eddie. Course I'll go. Bella's family. You both are." He nodded his head in appreciation, and I clapped my hand on his shoulder. We fell back into an effortless silence as we stared at our half filled glasses, and I again began to run my fingers around the edges of the quarters.
"How come you never scraped those off, or replaced the counter, anyway?" Edward asked as he nodded his head at the coins. I laughed, happy that he seemed a little more relaxed.
"Same reason I never repaired the chip outta the end booth when you and Jasper scuffled over the last slice of cobbler, senior year. And the same reason why I haven't sanded down the initials Rosie carved in a heart out in the store room. Just like the rest of us, Ally and Baby Bell left a piece of themselves right here on my counter," I said, running my fingertips fondly over the warmed metal. "I never wanna lose that."
"How'd you—"
"I ain't stupid." I laughed, remembering back to the ear-lashing dad had given me for not paying attention while someone 'defiled his diner.' "Ally was pickin' glue off her fingers for days. And damn sure—where there was one, there was the other."
Edward chuckled, drinking the last of his lemonade. "Bella doesn't think you know."
"I know that. Let's keep this between you and me. I kinda like them thinkin' they have their secret." Edward shrugged. "And don't worry about Bella. I'll go and speak to her."
"Thanks, Em."
"Family, Eddie. Anything for family."
~oOo~
As soon as I let myself in, I could hear crying carrying down through the house. I'd seen Charlie out on the lake and I knew that Bella was up there alone. I steeled myself for what I knew I'd have to do. This would stop today.
I took the stairs two at a time, hoping that the adrenaline would help me keep my resolve. Both Ally and Bella had always had a way of forcing me to my knees with the simplest of looks and I was determined that today would be different. It had to be.
I paused outside of Bella's bedroom, one hand gripping the door handle, the other placed flat against the wood. I could hear her broken sobs and hiccoughs, and it made my chest ache. I knew what she'd look like as soon as I walked into her room. I'd seen it before almost fifteen years ago. I'd watched helplessly while she grieved over the loss of her mom, Ally mourning at her side, lost and afraid, scared of the world and what the future would hold.
Course, Bella had been less jaded back then. Sure her momma was gone, but she embraced the love others offered without hesitation. My mom had always been like a second mother to Bella, and over time, Bella had allowed her to fill the void Renee had left. I'd always tried to look out for her and Ally in equal measure, and there wasn't a pinky promise in the county that the two of them hadn't made at least a hundred times.
Blood wasn't important in a small town like Masen. Your promise was as strong as your bond; your faith was as tried as a parent's patience; and your love was as certain as the rising sun. We were all family, and we protected each other.
The door opened easily as I twisted the handle and stepped over the threshold. I walked across the room and threw open the drapes, followed by each of the windows in turn and finally the balcony doors.
"Not right now, dad," Bella begged, her voice tense and ropey. I clenched my fists at my sides and inhaled deeply through my nose. As I placed one steady foot in front of the other, I heard a defeated sigh, followed by another weak sob.
"It's now or never, Bella, and I won't take no for an answer."
The noise that escaped from under Bella's duvet was something between a gasp and a hiccup.
"Go away, Emmett," she wailed after a moment. It was a horrendous sound. If I'd been less of a man, I might have fled. But I'd been raised right. I could lend a friendly ear, and God knew I had shoulders wide enough for crying on.
"I ain't leavin', Bella. Not this time." I sat down on the edge of her bed and tugged at her duvet. She fought back, keeping it tucked over her head. "I don't wanna hurt you, Baby Bell, come on," I coaxed. She kept her grip on the cotton for a minute longer before finally releasing her hold and allowing me to pull it back and see her face.
She'd lost weight. More than was healthy, I was sure. Her eyes looked large and dark, set in her pale face, but there was no life there. I watched as Bella's chin trembled and she wiped at her eyes with her fingers.
"Is he really worth all this, Bella?" I asked quietly.
"None of you understand," Bella said, her voice hollow, as more tears spilled silently down her cheeks.
"No? So talk to us. Talk to me," I begged. "Let us help you!" Bella sat up quickly, her eyes suddenly fierce, and her hair falling around her face.
"Just leave, Emmett," she said forcefully as she shoved at my arm and chest. From her position, Bella couldn't budge me, and I moved to grasp her hands. "No!" She held up a finger and pointed it right at me. If it wasn't for the fact that this was the first time since Black had left that I'd seen any fire in her, the image might have been funny. Bella shifted awkwardly onto her knees and pushed me hard on the shoulder. I stood up and stared down at her.
"Fine, we'll do this the hard way." As I left her room, I heard her yelling after me.
"And tell the others not to bother coming back either."
The bathroom was already warm and bright when I walked in. The windows were open and the sun was shining in, reflecting off the mirror. Pulling back the curtain around the bath, I reached in and started the shower, letting the cold water run through before taking off the chill by adding a little warm water to the mix. With another deep breath, I turned and walked back to Bella's room. I set my jaw and clenched my teeth, flexing my fists at my sides as I walked.
"What are you doing?" she sort of sob-sighed.
"We could've done this the easy way, Baby Bell. But you pushed. Well this is me pushin' back. You ain't gonna spend the rest of your life wastin' over that sack of shit." I stood staring at her. She could have one more chance. "Get up."
"Get. Out." Her eyes burned into mine and I laughed.
"Fine. You had your chance, Bella." In three strides I was at her bedside. Her eyes darted across my face in mild panic and I felt my chest stutter in hesitation. Her look wouldn't work this time. With a quick shake of my head, I wrapped my arms around Bella's back and hoisted her up from the bed.
"What the hell, Emmett?"
"Stop your squirmin'. I don't wanna drop you." I hitched her over my shoulder and tightened my grip over the back of her legs as she shrieked at me. I was never more pleased that the Chief was out of the house. I felt Bella fall against my back and the sound of her palms smacking off the denim of my jeans echoed through the room and down the hall. "Quit it, will ya?"
The spray of the shower got louder as we approached the bathroom and Bella changed her tactics by gripping onto my t-shirt.
"Please don't," she whispered feebly. My steps faltered as her tiny body began to shake against my own large frame.
"Come on, Bella. Play fair." I was pretty sure she was just trying to press my buttons—the woman knew damn fine which ones to aim for, even after all these years—but she was fragile, and I knew I'd have to watch what I was doing.
I suddenly wished that I'd thought to stop and pick up Jasper on the way over. He was the people person, always listening from his side of the bar. I was the joker, the light relief. What did I know about people's feelings and getting them to open up?
"Don't do this, Emmy, please." Hearing Bella's old nickname for me, sounded out as a broken sob, just about winded me. But it was all the encouragement I needed. She was as good as my sister, maybe not by blood, but that didn't matter. She looked up to me and relied on me. If she couldn't count on me now, then we'd all just might as well stay away and never come back.
I pulled Bella down my body. "It's for the best, trust me," I whispered, running a soothing hand up her back and cradling her head. I lowered her into the bath, sitting her under the lukewarm water, before finally falling to my knees beside the tub. Bella reached for me and her nails dug into the skin of my forearm. "We'll sit here as long as it takes," I told her.
The sound of the water hitting the edges of the bath made a muted sort of plink and mingled easily with my deep breathing and Bella's shallow stutters. We sat in that same way for over fifteen minutes—me leaning against the cool metal of the bath, and Bella with her knees tucked into her chest. Just as I began to worry that she'd get sick on top of everything else, she finally spoke.
"I can't do it."
"Sure you can, just talk," I prompted. "It's only me. Just the same old Emmett." I peered at her through the wet hair that had matted itself to the sides of her face and offered her a hopeful smile.
"No, I mean…" she spluttered, biting her lip. "I mean, I can't do it anymore." Bella wiped her hands down her face, and trickles of water followed the path her fingertips had traveled. "I've lost seven years of myself to this whole mess. If I started again, I'd be over thirty before I got to here. That's too late."
"Too late for what, Bella?" I followed her to a point. Rosie and I had been together since junior year. If anything happened to her, there'd be nothing left for me, I'd be done. But it was hard for me to get my head around. I needed her to explain it to me.
"Once I really thought about it, I didn't mind so much about putting aside a career. In the end, all I wanted was to raise a family in a small town, just like my parents. What could be better than that, right? They were so happy, so in love with each other, it was like they needed each other to breath. I wanted to sit on the porch and watch Charlie play with his grandkids; I wanted us all to be happy. But now it's all gone. I can't keep cycling through it. It's going to be too late for me. I'm going to be sitting on that porch alone."
"Bella, you'll find someone else. Someone better than Jacob. Hell, maybe he'll find you, when you ain't even lookin'." I thought back to Edward's face, twisted in agony and hurting over the fact that Bella was heartbroken, and I knew that maybe someone already had.
"I don't care about Jacob, Em," Bella sniffled, shaking her head and resting her cheek against her knees. "I've been thinking since I've been home, and I'm not sure I even wanted to marry him. I think it was the idea of being married, that I got swept up in. My high school sweetheart, only ever being with one person, moving away from home. The more time I spend here, the more I wonder if I ever even really loved Jacob Black. But I loved the promise of a baby—something that would be ours.
"It hurts that I wasn't enough for him, but it's the fact that he gave away my dream of a future, the idea of a family. He gave her a family, Emmy, and that's what makes it hard for me to breath," she finished, as more tears spilled over her cheeks and mingled with the running water.
I couldn't bear it anymore. She was right; none of us had any idea. We had spent all this time thinking she was devastated by Black's infidelity. None of us had considered the fact that she might be upset over the loss of possibilities. I stood up, wiping the back of my hand across my eyes, and carefully hooked my hands under Bella's arms. She slipped a little as I pulled her to her feet, and she steadied herself with her hands on my biceps.
"There's still time for you, I promise," I said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"What if this was my one chance?" Her little body shook as I stroked her arms.
"It wasn't," I assured her. I turned off the water and draped a towel around Bella's shoulders before wrapping my arms around her and lifting her out of the bath.
We stood in the middle of the bathroom, in the warmth of the sun, listening to the birds outside while she cried quietly in my arms, soaking me with her dripping clothes and her tears. She leaned heavily against my chest and I tightened my hold across her back.
"Catch me," she whispered.
"Bella?" I twisted my head down to look at her, not sure if I'd heard her right. Her shoulders shook as she continued to let go in my arms.
"I'm falling, Em. I need you to catch me." Her voice was thick and pleading, and I raised my hand to the top of her head to stroke her hair.
"You can count on me, Baby Bell. We're all here to catch you."
A/N: Posts over the next couple of months will be every 10 days to two weeks depending on RL. As always, thank you for reading.
Mojo Music:Place to Hide by Lucie Silvas -and- Yellow by Jem (Coldplay Cover)
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