Chapter Music: Hope for the Hopeless by A Fine Frenzy
A/N: I couldn't post these chapters without miztrezboo and annanabanana, so thank you, ladies.
LINK TO CHAPTER UNDER THE COMMENTS BAR
:: Charlie ::
Standing in front of the fridge, I sighed for the umpteenth time. My feet were freezing from the kitchen tiles and the chill off the open door; I had no idea how long I'd been staring at the contents. The light shining from it hit the clock on the wall and I saw that it was a little after two. I reached for the piece of apple pie that Alice had left in there earlier, and sat down at the kitchen table in the dark. I poked at the crust with my fork, watching as the pastry flaked under the slightest pressure.
Forking some of the filling into my mouth, I chewed slowly, and for the first time since Bella had left Masen for Phoenix, I struggled to swallow the stewed apple.
I could hear Bella whimpering in her room for the second night in a row. Hear her tossing and turning as she slept fitfully through another nightmare. I had tried to comfort her when they'd begun, but she hadn't let me. Bella was pushing us all away, isolating us out of her life again, only this time she wasn't moving a thousand miles across country to do it. She wouldn't let me in, she wouldn't talk to me, and I was still at a loss on how to fix it.
I carried the rest of the pie to the sink and scraped it into the waste disposal. "Sorry, Ally." My apology was a mumble she'd never hear, but it eased my guilt a little.
In a couple of hours the day would be starting. The birds would be up, and the fish would be biting. An hour or so after that, Emmett would be getting the diner ready for the breakfast rush—if you could call it that. Next would be Rose rallying her first graders, followed by Alice opening the store. Jasper and Edward would be busy at the bar all day, seeing to a delivery and clearing out the cellar.
I would be by myself.
I couldn't expect them to put their lives on hold because of the mess that Jacob had left to clean up. They had jobs and responsibilities, just like Bella was mine. Renee would have known what to do. She was always so good with Bella. As Bella had grown up, her mom had known exactly what to do or say to make her feel better.
As I stared out of the window and into the darkness, I knew I'd have to try harder. Try to make Bella see sense. Try to get her to talk to someone—anyone. Try and get her out of her goddamned bed. Because I knew, if I didn't do something, that's where she'd stay until she lost all hope.
~oOo~
I stood breathing heavily in the yard, the wooden handle twisting in my hands and the old stump at my feet. But after almost a week, there was nothing left to chop. Exhaling hard, I swung the axe over my head and down into the scored and nicked wood.
"You gonna be able to pull that back out, Chief?" Jasper asked, drinking a mouthful of his lemonade as he sat on the grass, his elbows propped on his knees. I grunted back, knowing that it was safer stuck where it was.
I'd been trying. I'd stayed in Bella's room, only for her to ignore me. I'd watched her stare out of the window as if I wasn't even there.
"How long are we gonna leave her like this, Charlie?" Alice asked as she walked out of the house. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were pink, and I knew she was hurting too.
"I don't know, Ally. The doc said if she's not any better in another week to give him a call and he'd write out a script." I wiped the sweat off my forehead with my sleeve. "But I can't get her to eat anything; she's not gonna take a pill."
We'd come full circle and it was just like when she had first arrived back in Masen. I took her food, she ignored it. I opened her drapes and windows, she pulled her duvet over her head. Bella had changed into her pajamas at some point through that first night, but she hadn't changed out of them or showered since we'd run Jacob out of town.
Alice had been over most days to check up on her, and Edward had stayed the occasional night, too. Jasper popped in through the day when Alice was at the store, and Emmett and Rose swung by when they could, but I was trying not to rely on any of them too heavily.
"She'll come 'round, Charlie. We just have to give her some time," Alice said, helping Jasper to his feet.
"I need to go and open the bar, Chief, but Emmett and Rose'll be by once the diner's closed." Jasper clapped his hand on my shoulder and offered a sympathetic smile before they left.
~oOo~
I threw my keys on the kitchen table, wondering how long Edward had been upstairs for. I'd only been down at the boat for forty minutes but I hadn't heard him arrive. I pulled the fresh pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge and put it on the side. When Rose and Emmett had stopped in last night, they'd brought dinner and pie, and just like old times, Rose had stocked my freezer so I had one less thing to worry about.
Edward's feet sounded on the stairs and through the hallway before shuffling to a stop behind me, and I poured us both a glass of McCarty's Lemonade.
"How's she doin'?" I asked, drinking eagerly. It was another warm day, and I'd worked up a thirst tinkering with the engine and trying to keep busy.
"I'm not even sure she knew I was there," Edward said, reaching for his glass. It had been the same when I'd taken her breakfast this morning.
"Still buried under her duvet, huh?"
"Pretty much."
I sat down at the kitchen table, dropping my head to my hands.
"I should've never let her marry him. When he came to me and asked, I should've said no."
"You couldn't know this would happen, Charlie."
"No, but I knew what he was like—even in high school. The parties at Billy's, the girls. I busted him more than once in the back of his goddamn car! How do I know any of that stopped once he got to college? Once he talked Bella into going with him?" I could feel the anger rising in my body as I thought about what Black had put Bella through. "No, I knew what he was like and I still let it happen. It's my job to protect her. After her mom— " my voice broke off. I had failed her. My little girl was broken because I had let her down.
"I'm all she's got, and I let this happen," I concluded, suddenly feeling defeated. I heard Edward's glass against the counter and the scrape of the chair across from mine as he lowered himself into it.
"Charlie, you're a good father. There's nothing you could have done to change this." Edward's voice was level and insistent, and when I looked into his eyes, they were determined and honest. "When everyone else left for college and I stayed here with my grandfather, it was your strength and guidance that got me through the tough times. And since they all came home to Masen, you've been there for each of them, too."
"Don't mean shit if I can't help my own flesh and blood."
"Don't do that," he reprimanded. "Don't dismiss years of being my friend, and of being like a second dad to me—and to Alice." I held his gaze and his tone changed, softening somewhat. "Bella has to process this in her own way, in her own time. It's hard for us all to watch, but if we try and force her, she'll just end up stickin' a band-aid over the wound, and sufferin' to please us. She needs to let the air in, Charlie. Needs to let it heal. Bella knows we're here for her.
"When she needs us—when she's ready—she'll let us back in," he concluded, though as he spoke, his forehead puckered as if it pained him as much as it did me to leave Bella up in her room.
"And what if she doesn't? What if she doesn't know when it's time?"
"Then we'll step in. If she can't find her feet, we'll catch her, but she needs to feel this first."
I knew he was right, but that didn't mean I had to like it.
~oOo~
I knew Bella was awake. Her breathing had changed about twenty minutes ago. I hadn't moved, sitting perfectly still on her old daybed, waiting for her to do something. That didn't mean that she hadn't heard me opening her drapes and windows.
"I know you're awake, sweetheart." She stopped breathing, and I chuckled under my breath for the first time in days. "That didn't even work when you were a kid." I heard her release the breath slowly.
"I brought you some breakfast," I said, sitting forward with the plate in my hands. She was going to eat today, I wasn't taking no for an answer. "It's just some fruit and a little juice, but it's all fresh."
"No thanks," she muttered, her voice muffled by the duvet. My hands tightened on the plate and for a moment I worried that I might break it.
"That's not an option today, Bella."
"I'm not hungry." All the while she spoke with her duvet over her head.
"I don't care if you're hungry or not. You haven't eaten in days. You need to put something in your system."
"Just leave it then. I'll eat it later. I promise."
"Bella, God help me, you'll eat something right now, or I ain't leavin' this room!" I raised my voice as I marched over to her bed, angry at the easy lies she told. I knew if I left it she wouldn't eat a thing. It would waste, just like the rest had.
Bella threw off her sheets, kicking her legs out from the tangled mess while she pushed her knotted hair off her forehead. For the most part, her face was pale and grey looking, though her cheeks were a blotching pink and her eyes were bloodshot from her obvious crying. Her bottom lip was cracked and so raw in places that it was clear to see it had bled at some point during the last couple of days.
She was a mess, and it was breaking my heart.
Bella reached for the plate, snatching it out of my hand, and began forcing slices of banana and strawberries into her mouth, along with raspberries and grapes. I stood, staring at her in shock as she half swallowed, half choked down, lumps of fruit.
"Sweetheart, stop." I tried to pull the plate from her but she yanked it back.
"Is this what you want from me?" she garbled, tears flowing from her sad brown eyes.
"Bella, stop!" She let me take the plate this time, but not before scooping up another handful of fruit. "I just don't want you to give up. I can give you your space, but you need to keep up your strength," I tried to reason as she squeezed the banana through her fingers, letting her nails bite into her palm.
"Stop pushing me, please," she begged, coughing and gagging. She should have eaten it slowly; her stomach hadn't been expecting such a harsh assault. She clambered off the bed, smearing fruit into the sheets, staining them pink from the berries, and ran for the door. "Why can't you all just leave me alone?" A minute later the bathroom door slammed shut and I could hear her retching echo down the hall.
With a defeated sigh I began to strip her sheets.
~oOo~
As I was standing, washing dishes, laughter sounded through the front door. "Hey, Charlie," Alice called out.
"In here, Ally."
Rose and Alice both walked into the kitchen laden with grocery bags, dropping them on the table and the center island. "You girls are gonna have to stop doin' this."
"Hush now," Rose scolded, walking to me and kissing me on the cheek.
"Thank you," I said, and while I finished washing, she began to dry and Alice put the food away in the pantry and the fridge.
"How's Bella today?" Rose asked.
"Last time I checked, she'd made it out to the balcony. She was sitting in her grandma's rocker, staring out at the lake."
"That's good, Charlie," Alice enthused. "Edward said she hadn't been out of bed." No one but Edward knew about Bella's meltdown yesterday, and I was planning on keeping it that way. It wasn't that I was keen to keep secrets, but enough people were hurting already and nothing stood to be gained from sharing it with anyone else.
"Yeah, well, one step at a time."
"That's why we're here." Alice folded the last of the bags and tucked them away in a drawer. "You're meeting the boys at Whitlock's, and Bella's taking a bath." She scrunched up her nose and made a face. "It's pretty ripe up there, Charlie," she whispered out the side of her mouth, her eyes sparkling, and I couldn't help but laugh at her playfulness despite the situation.
"Go on, get out of here." Rose whipped the towel against my thigh.
"You girls are angels," I said as I grabbed my keys off the wall hook. I hadn't realized it until they'd arrived, but a break away from the house was exactly what I needed.
~oOo~
"Chief! I've got a cold one sittin' right here for you," Emmett hollered as soon as I walked into the bar, and I hunkered down onto the stool in front of my traditional lemonade. It wasn't McCarty's homemade, but it was a close second.
"How's our girl doin'," Jasper asked, sliding two beers over the bar toward Emmett.
"Better today," I replied, taking a mouthful out of my glass. Edward joined us then, taking a seat on the other side of Emmett and reaching for one of the beers. "She made it out to the balcony this afternoon."
"Fresh air and sunshine! That's a big step," Emmett said as he toasted his beer in the air toward me. I nodded my head noncommittally, catching Edward's eyes as he grimaced.
"Come on, Chief, shake it off. Black's gone—we made sure of that. You should be focusin' on what Bella needs now." Jasper usually was the voice of reason.
"She needed me to castrate him," I ground out through clenched teeth.
"Charlie, that ain't gonna help matters," Emmett said quietly, trying not to provoke me.
"Maybe not, but it'd make me feel better." I forced a laugh through my nose and swallowed another mouthful of lemonade.
"At least you got one good punch in," Edward retorted.
"What?" Emmett thumped his bottle down onto the bar and turned to glare at me. I shrugged and avoided his eyes by focusing on the mirror running along the back of the liquor bottles behind the bar.
"You kept that little gem to yourself, Chief." Jasper stepped into my line of vision and raised his eyebrows at me.
"He was grabbin' at Bella. You'd have done the same thing," I defended.
"Just one swing? That's all you got?" Emmett grunted, picking his beer back up. "Black's damn lucky I'd left before he got there."
"Knocked him clean on his ass though," Edward laughed. "Went down hard, too."
I remembered back to the three of us—Jasper, Emmett and me—standing in the motel parking lot while Black packed up his stuff, making sure he was going to leave. It was probably just as well neither of them had known about how he'd pulled and grabbed at Bella. Those boys would have torn him apart. As it was, I barely held it together, and only because I wasn't lowering myself to brawling with him in front of a pregnant woman. Even if she did deserve to see him have his ass handed to him.
"You think he's stupid enough to come back?" Emmett asked.
"Oh, he's stupid enough all right," Jasper replied before I could say anything. "His dad's still here after all." He started stacking glasses behind the bar. It was still early, but his regulars would be drifting in before the hour was up.
"Yeah, well, Billy lives just outside of town. If Black knows what's good for him, he won't wander off his daddy's ranch while he's here." Emmett's voice was full of unspoken promise. I knew that if he saw Jacob in town again, Emmett wouldn't think twice about making him pay for touching Bella.
He toasted his beer again and signaled to Jasper for another round. I let out a steady breath knowing that Bella was in good hands with Alice and Rose, and that I could relax for a couple of hours, before heading home to do it all again.
I'd always taught Bella that revenge was never the answer to any problems. She should always ignore her aggressors, turn the other cheek if provoked, and always try to be nice. Because maybe there was a little kindness missing from the lives of those who tried to make hers difficult, and she had plenty to spare. It was always harder to be mean to someone sweet. I knew Edward and Jasper had given her some trouble from time to time, but boys will be boys. They'd never meant any harm, and for the most part Bella's sweetness won out and she was left alone.
Although those were the values I'd raised Bella with, I'd been ready to take my pound of flesh out of Jacob—or let Emmett, Jasper or Edward have their shot.
Maybe revenge would've made me feel better in the short term, but when it was all said and done, Bella would still be no better off.
A/N: Thank you for reading.
Mojo Music: Hibernate by Michelle Featherstone.
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